First Day

Bear with me, I'm feeling reflective this morning and that can be dangerous.  I just dropped Evie of for her first day of school (okay, it's day care, but I think "school" sounds much more fun).  To be perfectly honest, I've been dreading this day since March 11.  We've been so blessed that my mom was able to take care of Evie for the entire summer, since I started back to work on May 16.  She has made my transition back to work as smooth as it could possibly be, and I am so so thankful for that.  But in the back of my head, this day has always been looming.  How would Evie do at daycare?  Would she cry when I left her?  Would she be scared by her new surroundings?  Would she be overwhelmed by the other babies?  It's hard for me to imagine her in this new place, with her new teachers and her new "friends."  She should be sleeping as I type this, but I wonder if she could actualy fall asleep.  Will she be fine with someone new giving her a bottle?  Will she be too distracted to eat?  Or will she love every minute of it, soaking up all of the new sites and sounds? 

Thanks to lots of prayer and encouragment from wonderful friends and family, I have gradually come to terms with this day.  Last night I even got excited as I put labels on all of Evie's things (best purchase ever :)), packed up and organized her bag, and even laid out her "first day" outfit.  And I was overcome by new feelings of sadness, not the sadness of worry about how she would react and adapt, but feelings of reflective sadness that she is getting so big so fast.  It's hard to believe she is almost six months old- half a year!!!  And I can't help but think about what it will feel like to send her off to her first day of kindergarten.  I might cry right now, five years out!  :)  Oh, the joys of motherhood.  Part of me is thrilled to see her grow and gain more independence, but the other part of me wants her to stay a sweet baby forever.  A baby who doesn't know the word "no," who isn't embarassed by her mom and who still likes to be held (sometimes).   But she's growing up whether I like it or not, and today she is making one more huge step toward independence.  Sniffle.